Sometimes relationships end painfully. It may be a lost love, the end of a marriage or a friendship.
We may spend many moments of our life, turning over and over in our mind what went wrong.
We may alternate between blaming the other person and blaming ourselves.
We may ultimately question why God allowed that person in our lives, seemingly to bring us such pain.
When we tire of the continued unrest, we may decide never to think of that person at all. We may try that tactic, but life has a funny way of introducing other situations that bring it all back to mind. When we sense potential hurt, our early warning system goes on alert. We may sacrifice potential joyful relationships because of fear things could turn out badly again.
Moving on is not the same as rising above. Moving on tempts us to look back and only see what we last saw. Rising above allows us to see the whole of the relationship.
If you are willing to try it right now, first of all, ask The Lord to be your personal escort on the journey.
Ask that He help you surrender all negativity, blame and any urge to further analyze the relationship. It is hard to rise when you are weighted down.
Know that releasing is a process. You may rise a little today, even higher tomorrow and even more in the days to come.
When you are ready, remember the beginnings of your relationship. What attracted you to the friendship?
Remember the best times. Allow yourself to remember your capacity to feel joy. That capacity is still within you! It was not taken away by any person. Your capacity for feeling Joy is a Gift of God!
Now do a reality check without blame. Allow yourself to see what the relationship was not and could never be. See the limits of where you were. Realize how you grew beyond those limits.
See yourself as a new baby being propelled from a place that while once warm and secure, was not designed to be a forever place. Realize that all relationships must change for growth to happen. Sometimes people change in harmony. Sometimes people change and choose to live separate lives.
Allow yourself to grieve. Birth is messy. Birth involves pain. Be real. Admit your powerlessness to heal yourself. Ask God to heal you. Let Him.
And now, see the best version of that other person. Smile, realizing God’s Power to make him/her all He created them to be. Realize they were created in God’s Image and not yours. Ask God to continue His Creative Work and bring healing to them, as well as you. Release them into His Care.
Return from rising above, feeling lighter and freer. Thank God for allowing you to have had the Joy you shared with that person and to have learned the lessons you did.
Believe you were created to experience Joy! Walk forward knowing God has unlimited ways of bringing His Joy to you. Be confident He will do it!