True story of our long marriage.
When you are tempted to poke your spouse with the point of that umbrella (argument) or maybe beat them with it (I’m right. You are wrong!), put a little distance between you, look away, and hold up that umbrella.
Recently after an argument, in which I raised my voice loudly (OK, I yelled …), I felt badly. I apologized to Jay as he was half asleep. (Best time, easier to digest crow when your partner is too asleep to rub your nose in it).
Jay mumbled through his sleep. “That’s ok. Your position was worth defending.”
Sitting there in the dark, I realized what a beautiful moment that was.
Position worth defending.
He did not concede he agreed with me, but he affirmed my right to express myself and be heard.
And so we move on …