Spiritual Bulimia
Some time ago, a counselor advised me not to be “a spiritual bulimic.” I didn’t understand. She then explained that some people take in good food, but immediately seek to get rid of it instead of letting their body digest, absorb and use it.
She said sometimes people are like that with The Word of God. They take it in and then immediately try to give it to others, without digesting, absorbing and using the Word for the nourishment of their own bodies.
Saving Yourself to Save Others
Passengers on an airplane are instructed that in the event of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. Passengers are further told that they should use those oxygen masks for themselves before attempting to help others.
When Jesus was asked about what we must do to be saved, He answered,
“Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind
and with all your strength.”
The second is this:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.
There is no commandment greater than these.”
Mark 12:30-31
The first commandment makes perfect sense to me. But the second one always seemed a bit too self centered for my comfort level. Love others as I love myself? I love myself before loving others?
Where Is The Love?
The answer is yes. Loving myself happens only after Loving God with all my heart and all my soul and with all my mind and with all my strength … because when I do that, I find God in me in all those places … my heart, my soul and my mind and I receive His Joy, which is my strength.
… the Joy of The Lord is your strength!
Nehemiah 8:10
It is when I receive His Love, that it fills me up and overflows and I have enough Love, Joy, Peace and Strength to give others. But it must be in me first!
Proclaiming His Word!
Last year, I wrote our latest book, If You Only Knew … Who I AM! I was on a spiritual high, as I wrote the book. God seemed to meet me at every moment and I cheerfully took dictation. Every time I thought we were coming to an end, I would hear Him say, “Let’s knock off for today. But be ready to write in the morning!”
And it was true, His Mercies were new every morning. Fresh manna was waiting to be collected.
Roller Coaster Going Down …
However, after the book had gone to press, I experienced a real down time.
For a variety of reasons, I battled anxiety and outright fear. I became physically ill with autoimmune problems I had been free of for years. I began to be concerned that somehow I had done something to displease God and now I was paying the price. All of this was, of course, lies from satan.
Prescription for Healing
As I whined and complained to God one night, He said, “So when are you going to read the book?”
“Read the book? You know I know what’s in the book. I wrote it!”
Silence.
“You wrote it?”
“Well, sort of. I know I wrote down what You said for me to write. So yes, I know You are really the First Author.”
Silence.
“So, when are you going to read the book?”
More silence … and then He added,
I will not let you proclaim
what you do not claim!
And so I dutifully got out the book I had grown to call “my book.” I began to read, and immediately, I knew again The Love that had flowed between the real Author and me, His secretary for a time.
Grand Reunion in The Pages of A Book
I was amazed and overpowered with His Great Love from the beginning of time through my creation and on into this Present Beginning. I could see Him going off into the future into the next Beginnings. I smiled, laughed and wept for Joy.
His Words in the book were a Love Letter to me first! I took it in with Joy and I felt new strength flowing through me. Digestive issues that I had began clearing up, as I now digested Real Manna and was filled again.
A New Thing!
As I thrilled at the experience, new thoughts came to mind. In August of this year, we brought out the book again with a new cover, that reflects the Joy I discovered basking in His Love.
Recently my husband and I have begun a new teaching series on You Tube and God Tube. Some of the opening videos are discussions of satan’s tactics and how he works to steal our joy.
Nasty Thief Tries to Sneak In At Christian Conference
My husband and I just went to the Christian Products Expo in Nashville, Tennessee to introduce the book under its new cover. From the moment we arrived, I was ill again, in the throws of autoimmune issues once again.
I didn’t understand it! One should never question God’s Love, Mercy, Grace, Provision and Timing. But I must admit the little girl in me was once again whining and asking, “Why God? I’m trying to do your work here!” (If I had really taken in what I had been teaching, I would have instantly thought, “Yes, you are under attack because you are doing God’s Work … and you know what to do!”)
As I was trying to discuss the book, I found myself frequently retreating to the bathroom, praying again and again for the symptoms of elevated heart rate, dry mouth, and just general weakness to subside.
I said to God, “This feels like some kind of spiritual attack. Am I doing something wrong? What’s the deal?” No answer. I took a deep breath and said, “OK, I’m going back in. Help me!”
I returned to the area where my husband was thankfully carrying on beautifully without me. Remember The Real Author was both with me and everywhere else too!
Strength Delivery
The first person who walked up to me asked me to tell her about the book. She asked many pointed questions that caused me to focus on the points of God’s Love, Mercy, Grace and Provision.
She said she was also an author. I asked her what she wrote about. She smiled and said, “Spiritual Warfare.” I felt the first wave of electricity in the air.
She then asked me if I would autograph a book to her. I of course agreed. I asked her to whom I should address it. She again smiled and said to me, “I’m Joy.” I then looked at her name tag and she was indeed named Joy!
She had prompted me to speak about what God allowed me to write. She had caused me to focus on the Source of All Strength — JOY — even to writing the word, Joy.
She took the book, but left much more behind. HIs Fragrance was in the air and His Promises were clear. But once again, it was a reminder, not a magical fix.
Sometimes when we witness a Sign and Wonder, we expect to receive from it. However, it is only a sign to point us to Him. We must receive from Him, not the sign post.
I’m Still Standing, But I Need More …
While I praised Him, I reminded Him that I was still having symptoms. It seemed He whispered, “There’s a teaching series on You Tube and God Tube I really think you should watch. It tells about how satan would like to do a number on you. Don’t let him!”
So I am back home, recovering and reviewing those videos. Yep, I think Nashville may have been a desert (like Jesus was tempted in the desert), but it turns out God has no problems dealing with deserts.
… I will clear a way in the dessert.
I will make rivers on dry land.
Isaiah 43:19
And the first part of that verse is
I am going to do something new.
It is already happening.
Don’t you recognize it?
Isaiah 43:19
Claiming Before Proclaiming Again
So stay tuned to see what that new thing is. While I am waiting for further instructions from God, I am reading a good book and watching some video teachings. If you would like to join me, here is the link to the web site.
You can read about the book and also see the links on the home page to You Tube and God Tube! I pray it will guide you to The Joy of Knowing Who He Is (and avoiding some traps of one who also knows Who He is, but would like to keep it a secret from you!)
http://www.christianreading.com/cjones
Thanks Carolyn for such a wonderful post.
Please know that I will be praying for you. You pray for me. Together in God’s strength we will resist the wiles of the evil one.
Tell Jay hello.
God bless,
Tom