Every marriage needs a healthy dose of passion. But it matters where the passion comes from and where it goes.
In our youth, we had passion. We got to know each other by giving and receiving pleasure physically.
But being one physically proved to be easier than being one emotionally or spiritually.
As we continued in marriage, we came to know another passion. We both strongly believed what we believed. And our passionate beliefs often spilled over into passionate anger.
We argued. We yelled at each other. We slammed doors. We desperately tried not to lose ourselves as an individual while becoming a couple.
That passion became a familiar marital dance of begging to be closer while, at the same time, pushing each other away.
As our marriage progressed, we were given the joy of a new passion that surpassed anything we had ever experienced before. We became parents!
Our love that had been so turned inward turned outward. We were totally awed by God’s Creation — our daughter. Our new passion became to raise her in love.
For many years we were focused on our jobs and child rearing. And then came the next lesson in passion.
We lost it. The child grew up. The jobs no longer challenged us. And we had become strangers to each other.
We had looked outward for so long, we had stopped looking at each other anymore.
Secretly we wondered what had happened to the exciting people we had married. Wasn’t our spouse supposed to bring the passion?
And so came what could be the most dangerous years for a marriage. As our desire for something new and exciting escalated, we looked around.
We weren’t looking to leave each other. There were some comfortable, predictable parts of the marriage we wanted to keep.
We were just looking for something to fill in the blanks. Many couples reach this lull in their marriage.
They are never “technically unfaithful.” They simply let their minds and emotions wander. They begin to spend more time with friends, “just talking.”
They start to expand their searches on their computers to alternate worlds where they can imagine passion.
While they would call themselves faithful, they are not. Jesus spoke clearly about this.
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
When these times of boredom followed by temptation come, change your focus. God knows your desires. He knows how to fulfill them in Ways far more than you can imagine.
What if you could have the best of your spouse of the past mixed in with new exciting things of the present? You can.
Here is a revelation. Your spouse is not the same person you married. Neither are you. As you went through the seasons of Life, you both changed.
When marriages hit a lull, it is time to consider how each of you has changed and introduce your present day selves to each other.
There are endless things to discover if you are willing to give up any preconceived notions about who you are and who your spouse is.
Then comes the really important question. Why did God create you as a couple? What does He want you to do now as The One He has created you to be?
The Answer for us did not come overnight. But when it did come, God lit His Fire in us with a Passion that has exceeded anything we had ever known.
We fell in Love with God! And we discovered with Joy that being in Love with God meant we were right in the center of a Community of God.
My husband and I began to share every minute Life with God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. And They put us to work.
As They taught us, we taught others.
We taught nursing together for eight years.
We co-led several different Sunday School classes.
We wrote two books together and are working on a third.
We have written, produced and delivered 14 episodes of a Christian teaching series on You Tube and God Tube.
We are passionately in Love with our Creator. We are awed by how He brings together the different talents He has given each of us.
And each time a new project is complete, we know we could not have done it individually or even as a couple. It was God with us, God in us, God before us, God behind us, and over and under us.
If you want passion in your life and in your marriage, trust God to bring it. And then get ready for some major fireworks!