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I am not a patient person. I like being on time and I value others being on time.
I don’t even like to wait at traffic lights. I hate getting caught in a traffic jam.
I like life to move along in a nice, orderly way. I plan things out on the calendar. I try to foresee any potential obstacles and avoid them.
I probably have ADD. I was never diagnosed, but I recognize the signs in myself. We ADDers don’t like to spend too much time in our heads.
All the different thoughts that pop up at the same time overwhelm us. We need the stimulation, but sometimes it feels better to get it from the outside world.
It has been a little over two weeks since my eye surgery. I am so very thankful for so many things, but I am still weak.
I think of things I want to do, get up to try them and have to sit back down.
I am obsessing over symptoms in any part of my body. If something so completely awful happened so quickly, I wonder what else might be waiting in the wings. And believe me, that is not the mental trip for anyone to take.
That is why Paul said we should be
“Casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5
And so now, I come to the root of my current problem.
I do not want to wait. I knew that about my relationships with humans, but I never realized I could also be impatient with God.
He said, “Yes, you do try to run ahead a lot. I frequently have to remind you that you are supposed to be following Me.”
Oh.
He continued, “You frequently don’t think I am moving fast enough. You ask a lot if we are there yet.”
It seemed like a fair question, but I changed it a little.
“Where exactly are we going?”
He chuckled.
“So you think if you knew exactly where we are going, you could calculate how long it will take us to get there.”
Don’t ever try to outsmart God.
“You want to know where we are going. The answer is ‘here.’ We are going here.
You want to know how long it will take. No time at all. You are here.
You want to know why we are here. You are here to be with Me and recognize Me in all things.”
OK, that being said, I was ready to begin the lesson, so we could move on. I asked Him what the subject was.
He said, “Trust. Dependency. Surrender. Holding on. Letting Go. Seasons. Purpose. Hearing Me. Seeing Me. Believing Me. Knowing Me.”
He paused.
Then He added, “One more thing. Patience. Patience with others. Patience with yourself. Patience with Me.”
While I would like more strength right now, He says,
“They who wait for The Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31
When I want to know when the crisis will really be over, He says,
“If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”
Habakkuk 2:3
When I say I am afraid of what might happen next, He says,
Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for The Lord!
Psalm 27:14
And it turns out The Lord is also waiting. He is patiently waiting on me.
Therefore The Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For The Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him.
Isaiah 30:18
I am not very good at this waiting thing yet, but I am very thankful God is much more patient than I am.
He is waiting for me!
