As we are discussing mercy and forgiveness, you may find it most difficult to forgive one person in particular — yourself.
We learn valuable lessons in life, sometimes after we have made mistakes.
Unfortunately we often spent much way too much time deciding whose fault it was. It hurts to think it might be our fault, so we may look for someone else to blame.
If we can’t lay all the blame on them, we may try for the shared blame route. OK, I did it, but I would not have except for … he led me into it, she left me no choice, she deceived me, he gave me bad advice, etc, etc, etc.
But ultimately, it comes down to us. I did it. We may feel all alone in that pool of self pity, but look again. You’ve got company.
Satan thrives on torturing humans. He is an expert in pouring on the guilt. He has really enjoyed your humiliation, anger, attempts to blame others, but now he is licking his chops.
Like a prosecuting attorney, he makes his case for how and why you screwed up. He calls you names. He reminds you of every past failure. God may forget your sins, but it seems satan never does. He tells you that you are a total failure and you will never change.
He tells you people don’t like you, much less love you. He points out you are alone.
Then he moves in for what he hopes will be the kill. He tells you God is very disappointed in you and no longer loves you … if he ever did. He tells you that you better run because God wants to punish you severely.
In fact, he says, the world would be better off without you. He suggests you should end it all now because you really have no future.
Who knows but what that is what Judas heard after his colossal mistake. And instead of knowing the mercy with which Jesus would forgive him, he suffered the deceit of satan who literally left him hanging.
Can you forgive yourself? In part, but not completely. You can give yourself some grace in realizing the lessons often come after the mistake. But to receive the full Gift of Grace and Mercy, you need God.
Imagine yourself sitting down with God.
He is not name calling. He is not condemning you. He does what He did with earth’s first humans who sinned.
He let them know He was present, had been and always would be. He is with you now. He was with you when you stumbled. He will be with you.
He let them know He knew … everything. He does. God knows every detail of every moment of your life.
He asked them, “Where are you?” This was not a game of hide and seek. He wanted them to pause and consider how they got where they got. How did you get here? Where are you now?
He then asked them who they had been listening to. They recognized it was satan. Have you been listening to him too?
They then listened to God. Are you listening?
They let Him give them new clothes. Are you ready to change?
They followed Him on a new plan for their life. Are you really to leave your mistakes behind and follow Him to a new Life?
Judas was sorry for what he did. But he could not find forgiveness except in the one place it would be freely offered.
We will never know whether Judas heard Jesus’ Words from the cross and knew Jesus meant him too.
“Father, forgive him. He did not know what he was doing.”
And the message of Grace is Jesus has said that about all of us.
“Father, forgive them. They do not know what they are doing.”
Luke 23:34
