Words matter. Physical abuse is never acceptable. Neither is verbal abuse that seeks to tear down another person.
My husband and I have shared many angry words in our passionately making a point, but one verbal weapon that is off limits is anything that cuts at the essence of how God made us.
That means, no slurs about our physical makeup. Example: “You’re so fat.” “Your face looks like it needs the potholes filled in.”
Physical appearance is forever changing. If you or your spouse value your outsides more than your insides, that puts a level of insecurity into the relationship right from the beginning.
Tender Words lovingly hold a marriage together. My father always referred to my mother as his “precious wife.” She was reassured regularly that no matter what was going on, she was still precious to him.
My father in law always addressed my mother in law as “beautiful.” I can still hear him saying, “Good morning, beautiful!”
My husband will comment on something as being pretty and then add, “but not as pretty as you.” All of this may sound mushy, but here are today’s Truths.
Words matter. You can build a person up or tear them down with words.
Never criticize a person’s physical appearance. You can make your point without resorting to “mud wrestling.”
Say the words that soothe and build up. Say the words that cause your spouse to walk a little taller and more confidently.
Say the words of encouragement to them directly, but also know the value of saying them publicly. You can do this as a statement of gratitude. “I am so thankful my husband cooks for me. He is a great cook!”
Last tip of the day. Keep up the words of encouragement as the years go by. It’s all too common to think that staying together for a long time speaks for itself. It doesn’t.
You need to say the words to your spouse and they to you. You both need to hear what you both say.
When you say positive things about your spouse, you realize again how special he or she is. When you hear the positive things he or she says about you, it is a reaffirming of your value to them.
And yes, it is important to be able to say with all sincerity, “I love you.” It is our daily recommitment to each other. Yesterday’s love was great, but when I say “I love you,” it means “I love you for who you are right now. We’re solid. We’re good. We’re committed.”